Sunday, April 28, 2013

What Is Going On Here?

I mentioned in an earlier post that James and I were going to receive a Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth.  North Carolina along with most other states have this certificate now which is a legal document for parents of stillborn children.  In North Carolina the General Assembly last modified this on February 12, 2012 as states in the NC General Statutes & 130A - 114, with 114 referring specifically to Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth.

The county your child was born in does this automatically for you now.  But, parents can request this legal document themselves, according to this NC law if  they 1) obtain the proper form and fill it out
2) send a legal copy of the Fetal Death Certificate notarized 3) send a certified check to cover costs
4) send a copy of your driver's license for ID

We did all of this for our son James Collins Fitts, Jr.  We could not do this for Reita Gale because the baby had to be over 20 weeks gestation.  From the medical records we obtained recently from the hospital where both of our children were stillborn, Reita Gale was exactly 20 weeks gestation.  I accept that she did not live just one more day.  James Collins, Jr is an entirely different story.  He was according to our medical records full term.  He met the requirements of NC State Law.

The NC Department of Vital Records turned us down flat out last week stating they had no information on James Collins, Jr.  They have what we sent.  We offered to send my medical records.  No dice.  We asked to speak to everybody and the supervisor of their supervisor.   However, they had cashed our check weeks ago and NEVER contacted us in anyway.  We have been to Raleigh to the department and they were closed.  We have called too many times to count.

I have contacted the representative who sponsored this bill to become law to help us.  I did this yesterday.  I will not stop.  I will fight for my son to get what is rightfully his and ours until the day I no longer am on earth.

I carried my son for 9 months.  He was perfect.  Only his cord tightened cutting off his blood supply and he died.  I birthed him.  Some people think I didn't give birth.  What do you call three days in hard labor, and then pushing for hours to get this child through your birth canal and out into this world?  Just because he didn't take a breath didn't make him less a human being.  He wasn't a mass of tissue.  He was a beautiful baby boy with lots of brown hair, 7 lbs and 14 oz.  I did birth this baby.  He didn't cry, but he was born.  He was birthed.  He was still, but he was still born.

The hospital shoved forms at us to name him.  They wanted to know which funeral home should they call.  James was put down as his father and I his mother.  He had his own bassinet with Baby Boy Fitts on it.  The obituary in the newspaper said, Birth and Death, under the announcement.  Just because he was carried to the cemetery instead of his beautiful nursery doesn't make him less precious and legal.

He deserves and I deserve this legal document saying I gave birth to him.  I would love to hear any suggestions of what I should or might do next.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my gosh that is so awful--I can't believe they are doing this to you. Getting Janessa's stillbirth certificate here in Utah was a fight for me too--mainly because our hospital gave me outdated forms that I wasn't aware of. I finally got really mad and wrote all over the form this is for my baby that DIED stop adding to my grief!!! They finally sent me her certificate. Keep Trying--eventually you will get someone who has compassion. ((Hugs))