Thankful For Our Turn To Be Happy

There is no way that I can adequately describe my feelings of having a live baby to hold; to look into his eyes and have him look back into mine.  It a joy that is indescribable!  I hope all of you waiting for your Rainbow Baby will soon feel this joy! James and I have wanted this for so long!  We  cried many tears of joy with our new son in our arms intertwined. In fact, we just sobbed for John Collins Fitts is here!  We will forever call him Collins.   After 7 years of marriage, we have our baby son to bring home!  It is such a good feeling to the depths of our souls to cry for joy instead of despair.  He is alive and he is ours!  He is also the most beautiful baby ever!  We are so thankful and can hardly believe it is really true. We get to take him home to his nursery!  Thankful, love, and yes, relief describes this moment most of all.  Pinch us!

 I have fed him, changed his diapers (nappies) and bathed him.   I feel like my son has had first rate care while at this hospital. Pediatrician!  We now have a pediatrician!  This is new to us.  We would put our faith and trust in our new pediatrician for many years to come.  I had to go to a mothers' room with other new moms to feed our babies together and bathe our babies as a group with our own nurse.  Mothering classes in the hospital!  I was glad for them!  Frankly, I am a bit nervous that I do everything right!  I have been through two full term pregnancies....feel like a pro there.  Caring for a newborn?  Never!  I am treading in new territory for sure here.  Dr. Spock's book is always by my side.....my new best friend in mothering tips.  Honestly, when Collins cries, I get nervous! This will soon go away as I get more comfortable with him.  This is our time, our turn, to have this joy!  Right now, all I can think of is thank you God for this child of ours.  I will try to take care of him to the very best of my ability!  Can you tell how nervous I am?  You lose a bit of confidence when you have had a child that died.  You view things on the cautious side. 

 Most of all we are HAPPY!  James can only visit with us at set times. Rules!!!  He has to dress in a sterile outfit.  Whenever he holds Collins, Collins sneezes!  At first I thought the baby was allergic to his daddy, but we finally decided it was the paper sterile gown James had to wear that made him sneeze! So we sneaked it off!!!  We had so much  deep happiness.  We spent a lot of time just looking at our newborn child and at each other in awe.  Collins brought a joy to us that I thought I would never feel.  Our dreams were coming true!  Collins felt so soft and supple and was pinkish....not that white purple color of James, Jr.  Collins weighed a whopping 8 lbs and 4 oz!  His hair was so beautiful, like his brothers.  You could tell they were brothers.  The only difference was that Collins moved and cried.  Collins was pronounced super healthy!    He was so beautiful.....no kidding he was a beautiful baby with deep deep blue eyes that everyone remarked about!  I never saw the color of his brothers eyes, but I'm betting they were blue also.  Collins immediately stole our hearts and became the center of our universe.  We couldn't wait to get him home!  Yes!  I would be wheeled out of this hospital with a baby bundled up in my arms as it was a cold March day when we left.

Many friends came to the hospital to visit us, even though it meant a ride to get there.  Collins had presents!  Flowers of joy!  So this was how it was suppose to be!  At last, it was our turn to be on the other side.  My twin sister and her husband drove back to the hospital again to video Collins in the nursery.  They had tears of joy for us.  I honestly believe they were the happiest for us next to ourselves.  So many people were happy for us........the cards, gifts, flowers came pouring in.

Let me say that if we got our Rainbow Baby with so many odds against us, I hope you can too.  The wait was long and hard.  We never gave up the fight.  Having a Rainbow doesn't mean you forget your Angel in Heaven.  When Collins was just a few weeks old, his first stroll in his buggy was to his brother's grave.  We strolled there often on sunny days.  I'd lay out a blanket and sit with Collins, telling him all about his older brother.  I always wanted their spirits to be close.

Welcome to our world dear sweet baby Collins!  You have already blessed our lives more than we had ever hoped for.  I hope one day you realize how much you are loved; what you have added to our little family!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                        At three months I had our portrait made so if anything ever happened  I had this to prove to people that I WAS a MOTHER!