Sunday, November 18, 2012

My Baby Stopped Moving

Sunday night after arriving home from Washington, James and I took some pictures of the nursery, played with the wind- up toys, checked one more time through all of the baby supplies to make sure we were ready, because I had noticed that the baby wasn't moving as usual.  I thought that was very much okay since I had read in my baby books that babies got quiet many times just before birth.  I assumed that was happening in my case. 

The next morning, I called in at Dr. Forbes office and told his receptionist, Peggy Askew, that he should be ready as I thought I was going into labor since the baby movement had calmed down.  She told me to come in to the office right away since the doctor would most likely want to check on me.  This was Monday, April 28th.  I went in for the check up.  At the office window to check in, I noticed how nice Peggy was as I talked on about how excited I was that the baby was coming since his movement had slowed down.  It was a sign!  The baby was coming!  She just smiled and sent me to the waiting area.  Shortly, the nurse called for me.  After Dr. Forbes' examination, he gave me written orders to go to the hospital for some x-rays.  He said I should go right then.  Off I went thinking to myself, he must be looking for twins!

As soon as I entered my assigned area of the x-ray department, I was greeted by one of my grademothers from school named Lucille.  We both smiled at each other.  I started babbling on about I thought the doctor wanted me x-rayed for twins.  I noticed her smile quickly fade away as she read the orders.  I grabbed the orders back and read them for the first time.  The doctor wanted me x-rayed for something called fetal demise.  I had no idea what the word demise meant, but suddenly I didn't have a good feeling about it.  Lucille was trying her best to seem cheerful as she helped me prepare for the x-ray.  Back then, husbands didn't go with the expectant mothers to doctor's appointments, nor had Dr. Forbes told me to or did he make arrangements to call James and meet me at the hospital.  I was alone dealing with something that just didn't add up.  Cell phones weren't invented yet, so as soon as I was allowed to go home, I did and fast! 

Finally walking through our front door, I headed not to the phone, but first to look up that strange word, demise.  The dictionary said it meant dead.  What on earth did that have to do with me or my baby???  I called James and tearfully told him everything.  Tears were in my eyes because I was scared, but I was not crying.  Either I was in shock or just could not comphrehend was everyone was "dancing around."  James was on his way home.  In the meantime, I went to my neighbor's home, who was my very best friend, and since she wasn't home from work yet, I just borrowed her medical dictionary from her housekeeper.  Back at home, I looked up that terrible word again.  Her dictionary confirmed what mine had said.  Oh dearest God up above.  They all thought my baby was dead!  NO! NO! NO!  James walked in about then and saw what was in my eyes.  No, those people were crazy!  Babies just don't die like this!  Why didn't the doctor tell me what he was thinking instead of letting me go home and discover it all alone?  James and I were helpless and didn't understand.  We wouldn't believe it. Then I did the weirdest thing.  I simply went into the kitchen, pulled out the pan and began cooking pork chops for supper.

1 comment:

  1. Oh my goodness! As I'm reading your story, my heart is so heavy! I, being 28 & in the age of sonograms & dopplers, can't imagine how you felt! But one thing remains the same: doctors not sharing their worries & information!