I'm not quite sure how to put this into the right words because we all grieve in different ways and we all have different circumstances to grieve. In some ways, I am years ahead in my grief. In other ways, I am not. We never get over it. We each learn to live with our loss(es) in our own way.
We all mourn our differences in loss also. We have those that mourn miscarriages. I have had a miscarriage. I think of that baby a lot. I am sure I will see this child in Heaven one day. Some of us have only been able to achieve a miscarriage.
Think of the infertile couples. What they would give to have achieved a pregnancy. They would have the joy of knowing they had a child in Heaven to met one day. I was told I was infertile due to as disease I had suffered for years with called endometriosis. Being told you are infertile is just short of a slap in the face. I mourned not being able to be part of the "pregnancy group." Being unable to conceive was just so lonely. I fooled all and beat the odds and did conceive naturally. I thought I was home free. Nope. Lost my baby to a 9 month stillbirth. Then there are the first trimester losses, second trimester losses of which I lost my daughter to stillbirth in my second trimester due to a contorted cord accident. Her twin was my miscarriage in my first trimester. Now for the third trimester losses. I've had that also. I beat so many odds, yet loss three children. I did get very lucky and blessed to have 2 natural born sons, my 2 rainbows!
I've met mothers during the past 10 months who have lost their wee ones to being born prematurely, being diagnosed with a fatal disease while in the womb and carrying them to term, mothers waiting in the NICU waiting minute by minute for month after month to see if their premature baby would make it. Some have not and some have. "To die or not to die." Can you imagine the wait to see if you were going to get to use the nursery at home or a coffin at the funeral home?
I've heard the misery of a few mothers who had to endure the trauma of the aftermath of abortion.
Then I have met dear sweet mothers who have had to watch their child die slowly from childhood cancer. These children brought such joy to their parents while being brave fighting their disease. They have memories, some good ones and some nightmarish ones I would imagine.
So much sorrow each person has had to endure. Some got to have the honor of being a parent to an angel and some never got the honor of being a parent at all. Each sorrow is different and yet alike because it all ended in grieving a loss.