I am just coming out of my "loss season." James, Jr. was born still May 2, 1975 and buried May 3.
Then Reita Gale was born still May 31, 1982 and buried June 3. You know how the weeks are leading up and then the weeks aftermath. I'm in the aftermath of this 39th season and it just as well be the first season. I'm so down and no energy. I still need to be "looked after" this far out. I don't understand it. Of course I don't want to forget my babies! But I don't want to feel so bad either. Is this time of year "doomed" for me forever? My answer so far is I imagine so. I mean, look at me! I'm going to be 64 years old in July!!!! I have a fantastic family to enjoy and I do enjoy them. It is just three are missing. ( I lost Abbie in January 1982 to miscarriage)
Sometimes I still wonder the , "why me?" Why didn't this happen to one of my 4 sisters? Why was I the only one out of the 5 of us girls? I don't even have a friend that this happened to! If it had to be the 1 in 4 this happens to, where are the other 3? Could I have known just one of them to have a companion around me who understands?
I am in a place now where I don't want to talk about it ever again to anyone who isn't a BLM. I got off my BLM FB page to get away from it beside the fact that my computer got hacked. Seemed like a sign to get away from it for awhile. I still think of each of you. You can find me on Twitter @Fittsie! I do see some of you there. I still need some part of the BLM world security blanket.
Well, guess if you didn't realize it after reading this, you were just part of my pity party! Thanks for letting me sound off.
I will leave with an up-dated photo taken a month ago. Yes, I do have a lot to be thankful for.
My hubby and rainbows!
With my youngest granddaughter
With my middle grandchild & my only grandson
This picture melts my heart!
Yes, look at these pictures! I am loved! I am blessed! I am Minus 3